Have you ever considered all the families that you have been exposed to through television?
I thought back to the times that I wished I had been part of those families, or why wasn’t my family more like those families? The simple answer is because those families were not real! And they were all to a certain extent dysfunctional. After all, the dysfunction is what provided all the drama and humor for the shows.
So, I began to consider the often used phrase of “dysfunctional family” and began to look to see how many families this might affect. I was surprised to learn that we are all dysfunctional by current definitions. If you have any unresolved emotional issues as an adult then you were raised in a dysfunctional family and who doesn’t have unresolved emotional issues.
Now by any definition Joseph came from one of the most dysfunctional families in the Bible. After all how normal is it that that all of your brothers despise you enough to fake your death and sell in you into slavery – not even prime time television with all of its interesting plots hasn’t tackled this one!
As a testimony to the often over-generalized state of the American family I searched building stronger families on the internet and found a website about building stronger families, but alas the screen stated that the account was suspended and you should contact the billing department. Even a place designed for helping families was struggling to survive!
So, here are some simple building blocks that will help you build a stronger family:
Block #1: Pray
Ephesians 6:18 Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.
What should you pray? It is not always easy to give thanks for your family
Don’t pray for things you are not willing to commit to . . . Don’t pray your kids will get to know God if you are not willing to commit to the same. If it is important for them to learn. Does the same not apply to you? Believe me they will figure it out – now or later - through your actions.
Block #2: Don’t Compare your kids to others.
How much of this contributed to Joseph ending up as he did? His father apparently built Joseph up as more important than the rest. Do you think Jesus' brothers heard why can’t you “walk on water” like your brother?
We are each uniquely made and gifted . . .
Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Block #3: Encourage your family members
I Thes. 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Become a fan of your family members. This didn’t happen with Joseph’s brothers.
Mark 1:11 And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."
Words matter and the absent of words can be far more worse . . . Parents spend only 38.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with their children.
Block #4:Let them Grow up
As you build a stronger family they will grow (even Jesus grew in wisdom and stature). Remember you are not raising kids you are raising adults. Little by little release them – like learning to ride a bike or walk
Block #5: Love one Another
Don’t allow your family to fall in the trap of leaving things understood but unsaid. Let them know they are loved for Whose they are and not for what they do. Your love is to be unconditional and NOT a reward for their actions. Jesus said love one another as I have loved you.
These are simply some of the building blocks for building stronger families.
What kind of foundation are you building for your family?
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