I was born in 1965 during an era of free love, rock and roll, rebellion, bell-bottom jeans, and tie-died clothing. The 'mini-computer’ was roughly the size of a passenger car and being righteous was a good thing.
Then came the 70’s: The ‘mini-computer’ got smaller as it could now sort of fit on the desktop. The VCR came into play, with the advent of the beta cassette player. Beaded necklaces and latch hook rugs were the thing. We became patriotic as a nation as we celebrated the Bicentennial of our country. Gas prices were crazy, the Iran hostage crisis dominated the news, and the enclosed shopping mall was the place to hang out. And did I mention Video games became the latest craze with the advent of Pong and eventually Asteroids and Atari home game systems.
Next were the 80’s: Big hair was a big deal. Prep was the style and the Izod Alligator was the thing. The computer continued to get smaller and cell phones were big. I mean really big as they traveled in large bags and weighed a ton. And this thing called the internet was available through CompuServ and Prodigy.
What kind of an influence did the generation you grew up around have in your life? Did you wear bell-bottoms? Were you a hippie? Were you a disco queen? Were you a preppie? How did you embrace the generation you grew up with?
Every decade, society comes out with new trends. It never fails. A couple of decades later, we laugh at how silly those trends were. Three decades later and we’re putting on their clothes again and calling it Retro… Go figure.
For better or worse, for right or wrong, our “family values” will to some extent always reflect the values of society because society has an influence on how we live our lives and how our families develop and grow.
The 60’s and 70’s brought us the baby boomers and “free love.” That was their generational signature. The 80’s kids have become Generation X as the generation without a name. The 90’s generation is Generation Y as in, ‘why?’ ‘for what purpose?
How is it that we’ve come to the point of such complacency with this latest generation? What have we done, that has delivered our children to such a point that they just don’t seem to care any more? What have the preceding generations taught them? And how did we teach them? Perhaps you have tried to impart some wisdom with the latest generation by letting them know how it was when you grew up.
I don’t know what story you tell your kids about what it was like when you were growing up. But I can guess it went something like this:
I’m sure that you tell them how you loved school, and always got straight A’s and never talked back to your parents or teachers and how you delivered all of the newspapers in your town no matter what the weather and how you never complained about anything. Or perhaps you told them how you had to get up at four in the morning and break the ice out of the basin to wash and then before dawn you had to milk all cows and cut firewood before walking 17 miles to school mostly in snow storms because back then we seemed to always have snow. And then when you got home you had to do your chores all over again and study by candlelight and you had to be in bed by six.
I’m working on a new story to tell young kids:
When I was your age we didn’t have Xbox or Wii all we had was Pong? We didn’t have computers. We only had calculators and they only added, subtracted, multiplied and divided. We only had one phone and it was rotary dial and call waiting was a new feature and only “rich” people had answering machines (and yes it was a separate machine!). And when I was your age we only got 6 channels on our TV and two of those were on UHF and you had to get up to change those channels or control the volume.
Somehow it doesn’t sound as good does it?
The reality is it’s been nearly thirty years since I was a teenager and it’s a whole new world out there, and things are a lot different. These aren’t the simpler times that any of us grew up in, so let’s not try to convince our kids that they are.
What values did your family pass along to you during the generation when you grew up? What family values are you leaving behind and/or more importantly how will you do it? As you seek to leave an impression on the next generation of your family, consider this:
We must model what is expected from our family and the next generation. In other words what you value will be valued by those you influence. For example, although parents conscientiously send their children off to school every day and expect them to do well, they can add an important extra ingredient that will boost their children's success. Research has shown that parent participation is the ingredient that makes the difference. A parents' active involvement with their child's education at home and in school brings great rewards and has a significant impact on their children's lives.
According to research studies, the children of involved parents:
• are absent less frequently
• behave better
• do better academically from pre-school through high school
• go farther in school
It is also noted that family participation in education was twice as predictive of a students’ academic success as a family’s socioeconomic status (Walberg 1984 in his review of 29 studies of school–parent programs).
In other words, you can’t just tell your kids school is important – you have to show that you value education.
Now let’s bring it home to faith and church. You cannot tell your children that faith in God matters while exhibiting no action that reflects that faith in your own life - Testify about your faith, tell your children, do not leave it up to the pastor, the Sunday school teacher, or someone else – someone else will tell them what to value if you do not and it probably will not reflect your values! Do not be afraid to show your faith.
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NIV
Leave behind reminders of your faith. The Israelites consistently left markers to commemorate God’s activity in their lives. Today, many of the markers still stand as reminders of God’s activity in their lives. What will your family cherish when you are gone? (is it only your bank account?)
Society teaches us that what we believe is a matter of personal decision and should be a private matter, but Jesus was quick to admonish those that would seek to respond in such matter.
As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. Jesus did not let him, but said, "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." Mark 5: 18-19 NIV
Your faith is personal, but that does not make it private!
Do not make your faith such a personal matter that your family and friends have no earthly idea of what you value.
Your values will influence your family, and your family will influence the generations to come.
What values are you creating for your family?
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