For many the thoughts of a merry Christmas are far away. The songs of the season seem to mock us for “it is NOT the most wonderful time of the year.” At least not for everyone . . .
Not when there is a chair that is empty at the table.
Not without that other voice joining yours in the Christmas Carol singing.
Not when the depression seems too much to bear.
Is it the most wonderful time of the year? No, it is not.
Trying to smile and say “Merry Christmas” seems to become more difficult with each passing day. C.S. Lewis once wrote; “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness . . .”
It is the most wonderful time of the year, only it is not.
Not after you heard the news.
Not when you still feel alone in a crowd.
Not after your loss.
I wish I had something magical to say to you that would make everything all right. Some magical words that could magically bring understanding to this situation: Something like . . . Open Sesame! Abracadabra! or I have Ice Cream!
The truth is I have often found myself in a position as a pastor when people have come to me looking for solutions to their particular problem and I have often said something like, “Just remember . . . there aren’t any magic words.”
The truth is I have found some magical words in this past week. I have found that there are two words that have an amazing ability to become life changing for someone. I hope that as I share them with you that they will be magical for you as well. These words are not magic in a Harry Potter sense, but these words do have the ability to breathe new life into someone. These words can lift burdens, calm fears, and even inspire hope. Timed right, they can become like a warm fire on a cold December evening.
What are these words? . . . I understand.
Think about it. Right behind food, shelter, and clothing, one of our greatest needs is to be understood. How many times have your children stormed off saying, “You just don’t understand!” When you have been in a conflict with your spouse, or boss, or children, haven’t you found yourself replaying the conversations over and over in your head? Searching for that clever thing to say next time so you might be better understood? When you are unfairly criticized don’t you immediately start ranting about all the things your critic doesn’t understand about you or the situation?
When you feel lonely, depressed, or overcome with grief and somebody tells you, “to snap out of it” don’t you instantly mark that person as one who has no understanding? And having done so doesn’t that make you feel even more isolated realizing that no one understands how you feel?
Think about it. Some of our most frustrating moments in life have come when we needed understanding and just couldn’t find it and without understanding we are left feeling empty.
That is why I believe the words ‘I understand’ have so much power. Say these words to someone who is hurting, confused, or neck deep in trouble and watch the reaction. At the very least you get a sigh of relief. A good chance you get a hug. You might even see tears of relief. All because it is wonderful to know that someone understands.
If I were to stand here today and try to express to each of you who are going through difficult circumstances that I understand, I would be a fool. For neither you nor I have the ability to speak understanding into every situation that life presents . . . Well, anyone that is except Jesus:
From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth- he who forms the hearts of all, (and) considers everything they do. Psalm 33:13-15 NIV
That is the understanding that Jesus brought with Him and was evident from the beginning of His ministry:
Everyone who heard Him was amazed at His understanding and His answers.
Luke 2:47 NIV
Jesus was able to connect with people. Jesus not only connected with these people but He dramatically impacted their lives. Part of the reason was that He understood them. A perfect example of this is revealed in John 11:
When Mary arrived where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.” When Jesus saw her crying and the Jews who had come with her crying also, he was deeply disturbed and troubled. He asked, “Where have you laid him?” They replied, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to cry. John 11:32-35 CEB
When we are honest with ourselves, we can admit that we who grieve have asked God the same type of question that Mary asks, “God, why didn’t you do something?”
I am thankful that Jesus didn’t answer the question. As a matter of fact from our perspective HE ignored it. I am thankful because of what he could of said, but didn’t.
He didn’t explain that this death was part of a plan.
He didn’t explain that she had no right to question God’s plan.
He didn’t demand an apology.
The Son of God who had the power to raise Lazarus from the dead didn’t tell her to snap of it and get on with life.
He didn’t chastise for her not having enough faith in Jesus to trust.
Why didn’t He do this? Because Jesus understood that she was filled with grief.
Mary didn’t need a rebuke, she needed someone to understand and that is what he gave her - understanding.
How do we know that He understood? He wept. In that moment there were no magic words – just understanding.
He shared with her - her grief.
And that is the good news of Christmas. God came to be with us – God came to be one of us. God came so that in this moment, God could say, “I understand.”
We are no different than Mary at the tomb of Lazarus. Oh, our circumstances may be different, but each of us comes to a point where we need someone to understand.
Whatever agony you happen to be going through right now, Jesus is acquainted with it. Don’t be fooled by the fact that He walked this earth a couple of thousand years ago. Satan wants you to believe that Jesus didn’t live during our hectic, complicated times, and therefore He can’t possibly understand what you are going through.
Not True. Pain is pain whether you wear sandals and a tunic or Blue Jeans and a T-shirt. Jesus experienced enough pain and rejection to understand yours. When your life is derailed and no one seems to understand. Remember that right now Jesus understands:
He understands your situation.
He understands your pain.
He understands your grief.
Be reminded this day that there is One who understands. He came to us as a baby born in a manger to live a life – to become our savior.
Be reminded this day that there is One who understands . . .
And your life will be changed.
Your faith refilled.
Your joy returned.
And your hope restored.
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