Dedicated to Robert Eugene Frieden (my Grandpa): April 19, 1920 - November 13, 2013
Whenever I see an fuel oil delivery truck I think of my grandpa. I spent many a summer day riding in his big red truck as he made his deliveries. These are some of the words I shared at his funeral today:
There are moments in one’s life that no one wants to experience, but in living them you simply acknowledge that you are honored or privileged to be a part of the moment … this day and my experience with my grandfather’s life were just that … an honor and privilege.
We shared something … a name … more precisely initials … REF. F - Frieden; E- Eugene; and my R was Rodney. That’s REF like my Grandpa (Robert) like my Dad (Ronald) and like my son (Riley).
I haven’t always embraced that commonality. I didn’t want to be a Rodney … I wanted to be Rod and I certainly never wanted to be a Eugene. The important thing in all of this is that growing up I wanted to be like my Grandpa (no my Dad).
I wanted to drive a big red truck like my Grandpa.
I wanted to be as strong as my Grandpa.
I wanted everyone to like me like they liked my Grandpa. It seemed everyone knew him and that everyone was his friend.
I hoped to one day know as much about everything the way my Grandpa seemingly did.
I even wanted my hair to be wavy just like Grandpa's.
My Grandpa was one of the coolest people I knew and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.
After all what’s not to like about a man that makes ice cream and fudge, hides candy by his bedside, and drives a big red truck!
As I grew older, dreams of driving a truck changed. I even gave up on having wavy hair - the length of my hair became an ongoing debate for me and my Grandpa (it was never short enough for him). I also discovered my own interests and those weren’t always the same as Grandpa’s. Heck, we didn’t even root for the same baseball team - He the Cubs and me the Reds! But even as my dreams grew and changed, one thing remained the same - I still wanted to grow up to be just like my Grandpa – honest, caring, selfless, strong of will, gentle of spirit, a man of quiet yet strong faith - a man of integrity.
Today (like most fathers), I struggle with the task of raising a son who thinks his Grandpa is way cooler than his own Dad. But the lessons I learned growing up have become the key to living with that frustration. What I have learned is that if I can teach my son to be proud of his name Riley Eugene Frieden and the stories and heritage that have come before it … If I can remember to teach him about the man who started this tradition --- not what he did, but who he was and what he stood for ... If I can do that, I will succeed in teaching my son the most important lessons in life:
When you grow up, Grow up to be just like your great grandpa and your grandpa - that's what I have tried to do. Learn to say your name with pride and hold your head high.
I even wanted my hair to be wavy just like Grandpa's.
My Grandpa was one of the coolest people I knew and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.
After all what’s not to like about a man that makes ice cream and fudge, hides candy by his bedside, and drives a big red truck!
As I grew older, dreams of driving a truck changed. I even gave up on having wavy hair - the length of my hair became an ongoing debate for me and my Grandpa (it was never short enough for him). I also discovered my own interests and those weren’t always the same as Grandpa’s. Heck, we didn’t even root for the same baseball team - He the Cubs and me the Reds! But even as my dreams grew and changed, one thing remained the same - I still wanted to grow up to be just like my Grandpa – honest, caring, selfless, strong of will, gentle of spirit, a man of quiet yet strong faith - a man of integrity.
Today (like most fathers), I struggle with the task of raising a son who thinks his Grandpa is way cooler than his own Dad. But the lessons I learned growing up have become the key to living with that frustration. What I have learned is that if I can teach my son to be proud of his name Riley Eugene Frieden and the stories and heritage that have come before it … If I can remember to teach him about the man who started this tradition --- not what he did, but who he was and what he stood for ... If I can do that, I will succeed in teaching my son the most important lessons in life:
When you grow up, Grow up to be just like your great grandpa and your grandpa - that's what I have tried to do. Learn to say your name with pride and hold your head high.
You are a Frieden … an R E Frieden and that means you share a something with the man I have called Grandpa all my life.
Learn to be like him and you will become a man of Honesty, a man of Caring thoughts, a man of selfless action, a man who was strong of will and gentle of spirit, a man of integrity, and a man of quiet yet strong faith.
Some will ask what's so important about a a name?
The answer is not much unless that name was R E Frieden and then it can mean everything.
Thanks for that lesson Grandpa. You never taught that to me … you just lived it every day.
The answer is not much unless that name was R E Frieden and then it can mean everything.
Thanks for that lesson Grandpa. You never taught that to me … you just lived it every day.