It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth,
just as the Father commanded us 2 John 1:4 NIV
Go in to most any home that has children and you can discover a parent’s joy on the refrigerator. Parents relish in joy when their child brings home his or her first drawings from school. They go on the refrigerator for all to see. But if you are not careful, your child can go into mass-production mode. Suddenly, one work of art has multiplied to four, then twelve then…forty-eight...maybe even ninety-seven pieces! There is no more room on the refrigerator!
What reports or pictures make there way to your refrigerator?
In our desire to raise children that “walk in the truth” we often turn to the church, Sunday school, or youth group in the hopes that they will provide the desired results. It is our on-going quest to raise children of faith that reminds me that there is no actual manual for raising children. There aren’t even contracts for parents to sign or a license to apply for before having children.
In the movie Parenthood, Keanu Reeves says "You need a license to fish and a license to drive, but any jerk can become a parent." There is no way to prevent people from becoming parents just because they weren't issued a license. But if there were such a parenting license, what would the questionnaire look like? What are the most important things that every parent needs to know before taking that baby home from the hospital?
Does the Bible have anything to say? And if it did, could we reduce to a few words to put on our refrigerator to remind us daily? I believe John revealed some of those things in his second letter.
1) You Must Pass Along Your Faith v4 “your children walking in the truth”
If God were writing the contract, He would definitely place teaching a trusting faith in Christ at the top of the list. It won’t matter what you’ve done with your life or what you’ve given to your children if you’ve not made living a life of faith in Christ a priority. In order to pass this faith along, to teach this faith, you as a parent must be able to explain or understand this process of faith. Parents don’t be dependent on someone else to actually talk to your children about faith. Don’t wait for someone else to introduce them to Jesus.
2) You Must Pass Along A Love For Others V 5-6 “Continue to love one another”
Just teaching them to have faith is not the end of your obligation. The Bible teaches us that how we live our faith matters! The love of a Godly mother is a great example of God’s love. It is from the mother that most children learn how to love and be loved. Children watch how their parent’s express their love to their spouse. They see how you love them. They also observe daily whether you express love for other people, particularly people who are hard to love.
Remember Jesus said that it wasn’t much of a big deal for us to love our friends, but the real test of love is whether you can love those who are unlovable.
Are you a loving person, or have the circumstances in your life calloused you? Have you become hard and uncaring, or do you have a genuine love for other people?
I’m not suggesting that it is easy to love others, but I am suggesting that the generation of children coming up in this world need to see love being modeled in their lives and you may very well be the greatest model of love they will have.
3) You Must Pass Along Godly Values v 8-9 “Watch out do not be deceived ... continue in the teaching ...”
Deception comes to our children most easily in the areas where we have failed to teach them. We need always to be teaching our children Godly values? What kind of values am I speaking about? There are many. Allow me to mention a few:
1. Will you pass on a high estimation of obedience? Or will you pass on a life of bending the rules and looking for loopholes in everything? Will your children learn about obedience to God from you? Will they learn about obedience in the workplace from you? Will they learn about obedience to the law from you?
Last weekend we out running errands as a family and Sherry said something she says every time we get in the car, “Riley, do you have your seatbelt fastened?” The lessons and values we teach everyday were driven home when for the first time Riley responded not by saying, “Yes, Mom!” but instead replied, “No because Daddy doesn’t have his on.” Needless to say I quickly fastened my seatbelt.
2. Will you pass on biblical values about money? about stewardship? about giving?
3. Will you pass on things like tenderness, kindness, forgiveness and mercy?
4. Will you pass on the biblical value of personal responsibility?
By this I mean, let them clean their rooms, give them chores to do, let them help with the lawn or the dishes. They ought to never hear from your mouth, “I’ve done my part and that’s all I’m doing.”
When they do wrong, help them own up to it and then discipline them accordingly and when they do right, praise them and be an encourager.
5. Will you pass on a high regard for church? Or will you pass on a set of shifting worldly values? I often like to ask children whether they will be in church on Sunday. Listen to some of the things children have said to me:
a.I have a ball game/practice.
b.I have to do my homework.
c.I needed to rest.
d.It’s our only day off.
Suffice it to say that for too many people church and Godly values come last when they need to come a lot higher on our list of priorities.
Christian parents are under attack to conform to the thinking of the world. And the world uses your own feelings of guilt, feelings of inadequacy, to pressure you to give in and to lighten up.
I know there are no real contracts, but there is certainly a great responsibility for you to be different from the rest of the world as you claim faith in Christ in your life and in your role as a parent.
So, I want to challenge you. If you agree with these things you need to be passing along to your children -faith, love, Godly values
If you want to work on these things - if you want to make a conscious effort to apply them - then I am going to give you the opportunity to sign a contract between you and God on behalf of your children.
I,____________, commit myself to passing along God’s priorities to my children. This will not be a lip-service commitment, but I will give my all in seeing that my children come to know Christ as their personal Savior, that they love and obey Him, that they learn His values from my life, and that they understand Jesus is first place in my life. I will make every effort to please Jesus first by giving myself to Him in service and in growth and maturity. I understand that I am not alone in this endeavor because the Lord is my Helper and Comforter, and He has given me a church that will pray for me and aid me in times of need.
Perhaps on the refrigerator at your house there is a place for this contract.
A reminder to you, your children, and all who enter you home – that you are willing to be accountable as a parent.
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