“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” Dr. Seuss
Let's face it - Love is weird. Well at least the love as we know it in culture and society. We live in a world where sex and love are the same thing. We live in a sexually saturated culture – images assault us 24/7 - some explicit – some subtle. AS some of called it – a sexual revolution. Truth is it hasn’t been a revolution though it has been slow and mindless change. Remember I Love Lucy? with separate beds and when Lucy was pregnant (Couldn’t use that word on network TV) she was expecting or with child.
We have evolved as a society to the point that we now have the likes of Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, and Two and Half Men. Most recently with Two and Half Men isn’t funny how we glorify the action of the main character and vilify the actor for behaving the same way in real life.
I don’t believe we are where we intended to be – but we got there one step at a time. Little Steps add up. We got here by believing “It’s no big no deal ... We all live that way ... It’s just entertainment ... It’s normal ... Everybody does that."
Normal looks like this:
65% of husbands and 55% of wives will commit adultery by age forty - Normal.
People who once were so in love, end up in divorce court dividing up possessions – and that is normal.
In our relationships, we judge others by their actions, while we judge ourselves by our intentions. It’s normal
We watch movies, read magazines, read romance novels, believing it all to be normal.
We are taught that to be fulfilled in life you have to meet the one. That’s Normal.
The Bible teaches us that God is the One we are to meet! That’s Weird. And here is the problem we have: Putting God first will not instantly make your marriage perfect or your family perfect. Great marriages do not happen by accident – they always happen on purpose and No family is perfect all the time.
Allow me to meddle into your normal relationships and suggest that it’s time to make them a little weird . . .
Husbands – Don’t be normal. Your wife needs words of affection. You know how to do this – you did it while you dated – some of you even called it ‘pitching woo”
Don’t be normal - “I told her I loved her when we got married and nothing has changed. When it does I’ll let you know.” Words matter – more to women than to men. SO try going beyond I love you. And something to that. I love you BECAUSE . . . when I look in your eyes I still melt like I did the first time we met.
Husbands - Women want to know do you love me today? Be weird and let them know – Daily!
Wives – just as you need to be affirmed by words your husband does as well – truth is most men are insecure. We live in a world where we are only as good as our last accomplishment. In so many ways, husbands are in the process of becoming what their wives see in them and believe them to be. Wives - Men want to know do you believe in me today? Be weird and let them know you still believe in them – Daily!
Now for a husband and wife it is normal to start a family. We could talk about a lot of things that are normal as it relates to starting a family . . . but I want to talk about what is normal for us as parents to wish or hope for our children:
I just want Brandon and Kendra to enjoy their lives. Since Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team, we’re hoping he plays college soccer one day. We just trying to get Ginger and Gabe more opportunities than we ha growing up I hope Bethany gets a good education and a high- paying job We’re just praying the Kevin stays away from the wrong crowd so he doesn’t get sucked into bad things. If Shannon studies hard, I think she can get in to medical school – that would be a dream come true. Natalie keeps bringing home bad boys. We just hope she marries a good man.
Now none of those are bad wishes. In fact you could argue that they are each very good. If that’s your goal and you reach it – you might be very happy. In fact most normal people in the world would be happy with the success. Here is the problem: God didn’t call us to be in the center of the world’s success.
If we raise our children to become well-adjusted, materially comfortable, professionally successful adults, but they don’t know God who created them or live their lives for Christ – then all the success in the world is for nothing.
Weird . . . that’s exactly what Jesus said . . . What advantage do people have if they gain the whole world for themselves yet perish or lose their lives? Luke 9:25 CEB
What if normal as it relates to parenting is pointing our children in the wrong direction? Let me share with you what normal looks like (from a 2009 survey by the Christian Post):
95% of Christians 20-29 attended church regularly elementary and middle school.
Of those only 55% attended in high school
and only 11 % attended while in college
The problem is that as parents (and as the church) we are not equipping our children. We are not teaching them that Church and Faith are relevant to them.
So how do we become weird parents? Or as our children might suggest, how do we become weirder parents?
Your greatest priority as a parent is to gradually transfer your child’s dependence away from you and on to God. Show them what this looks like. Mirror God’s character on a daily basis – live your faith every day not just Sunday morning.
We cannot just remember God at the end of the Day in quickly spoken prayer. We must learn to live aware of God in every moment of the day. God is not a part of our life: God is our life. And we teach this to our children by being willing to have questions, doubts, weaknesses. Share answered prayers as well as unanswered. When you lose your temper – ask for forgiveness.
Unfortunately it is all to normal to separate your spiritual life from your regular life – that‘s normal. The weird reality is that there is no distinction. Everything we do is spiritual. (Taking a test, playing t-ball, going to work, being a parent, etc)
Parents and teachers, we do our children a disservice when we teach them to do what Jesus would do while failing to teach them what Jesus did. So what do we teach them. Teach them what Jesus learned:
Teach them to be stewards of God’s money (Proverbs 3:9-10)
Teach them to carefully select their friends (Proverbs 13:20; I Corinthians 15:33)
Teach them to watch their words (Proverbs 4:24; Luke 6:45)
Teach them to be responsible (Proverbs 6:6-8)
Teach them to guard their minds (Proverbs 23:7; 2 Corinthians 10:5)
Teach them to be generous (Proverbs 11:25)
Teach them to respect God. (Proverbs 1:7; Psalms 111:10)
Jesus was once asked what was in important in our relationships.
He answered . . First Commandment – Love God. Second – Love others as yourself.
Living this way – loving this way – might feel weird at first, but stick with it. Weird is good
Never forget normal isn’t working. Be weird. After all, love is . . . weird.
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